Bulworth Revisited: Oh Tannenbaum!

Now that there is a concerted movement to remove Christ from Christmas we need to reflect on possible solutions. If you don’t like the idea of the new terminology of happy holidays, a holiday tree and assorted other nonsense, here’s one solution: all we need is a voluntary, free-spirited, open-ended program of procreative religious deconstruction. Everyone should just keep having sex with someone of a different faith or religious belief or no belief at all until no one notices or pays any attention no matter what greeting you use or what you call that tree with all the ornaments in your living room.

Rather than adopt that stupid “holiday tree” appellation, let’s return to the pagan days when the evergreen tree was worshiped and fires, lights, and evergreens, as symbols of warmth, lasting life and survival, associated with the winter festival and the winter solstice. When St. Boniface completed the Christianization of Germany in the eighth century, he dedicated the fir tree to the Holy Child to replace the sacred oak of Odin.

Then there still is the possibility of Tannenbaum as in: Oh Tannenbaum, oh Tannenbaum, Wie treu sind deine Blätter. Du grünst nicht nur zur Sommerzeit,
Nein, auch im Winter, wenn es schneit. O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie treu sind deine Blätter.

Hey, you Christians out there, you are not a factor and never will be as long as Congress remains in the control of the bleeding heart liberals who believe in abortions and see the future as a bland world in which one size fits all. Take those créches down from city hall, take Christ out of Christmas because it is too exclusionary to the atheists. But you can’t add menorahs and minarets either because they are equally exclusionary.

Now you fat-cat Jews, we all know you run the entertainment industry that makes a lousy product replete with obscenities. But we also know you are the richest people in America, so what the hell, Happy Hanukkah. The menorahs are on order for the Democrat convention and for those $1,000 a plate dinners

Muslims among us—we are working at getting a minaret erected in front of every city hall and in front of the White House during Ramadan. Obama has promised to make it happen. A vote for Obama is a vote for Sharía.

And you Hispanics, do you really think Democrats really care about you? They are pandering to you just like all the other politicians. I mean, isn’t that obvious? A third of your kids are out of work, a third are school dropouts, and the rest are either in gangs or in jail. Do you see any Democrat doing anything about that? What are you going to do, vote libertarian? C’mon, c’mon you’re not going to vote anything but the Democrat ticket.

I mean, c’mon, you can put a million people in the streets with your Mexican buzzard flags and Ya Basta! signs but if you don’t put down the cerveza, tacos and frijoles and get behind someone other than your local drug dealer or wife beater, you’re never going to get rid of those old white guys and gals in the Congress.